DISQUS

EPL Talk: What if the Premier League was American?

  • Trey · 1 year ago
    Apparently football wouldn't be played anywhere south of Maryland and Ohio would have three teams.
  • The Gaffer · 1 year ago
    No one said football was meant to be fair. Just as in England, there's a large representation of clubs in the north west and London. And just as in Major League Soccer, there are no teams south east of Washington DC.

    Cheers,
    The Gaffer
  • Juliet · 1 year ago
    I'm going to have to agree with the other commenters here -- I don't think you've taken into account the rich regional variation available in the U.S. For instance, crime-ridden Baltimore is far more suitable match for Everton or Liverpool.

    The reason there are no MLS teams southeast of DC is that there is no land, other than Norfolk, southeast of DC. FC Bahama Mama, anyone?
  • tyduffy · 1 year ago
    I think the Boston-Liverpool comparison is a bit of a stretch. I understand the port comparison. But, the prominent stereotype for a Bostonian is a wealthy, elitist, snob. That diverges a bit from the Scouser stereotype.
  • The Gaffer · 1 year ago
    So where would you put Liverpool instead?

    Cheers,
    The Gaffer
  • martin · 1 year ago
    Wow,which boston is that? I assure you when americans think of boston residents, they think of idiots with obnoxiously sport-centric civic pride. that and racism.

    you must only be thinking of harvard and MIT or you may identify with Good Will Hunting and his plight with "wealthy, elitist, snobs."
  • Mike · 1 year ago
    How can Seattle, with all its rain, not have a team from England?

    And I guess its far to give NY and its 5 boroughs 5 teams. So 1/4 of the league would reside in NY?
  • The Gaffer · 1 year ago
    London has five teams in the Premier League, and New York was the next best thing to London.

    I tried to think of teams that resembled Seattle but none came to mind.

    Cheers,
    The Gaffer
  • AtlantaPompey · 1 year ago
    So where's the love for the South? Portsmouth belongs in in Florida. Jacksonville, with a military tradition would fit in nicely. Atlanta has 5 million people. How about a team? This is one of the reasons I don't pay much attention to the MLS: nothing near me.
  • The Gaffer · 1 year ago
    To me, there's no teams in England that make me think of the southeastern part of the United States.

    Cheers,
    The Gaffer
  • damir · 1 year ago
    You did not just compare the GREATEST Organization in Baseball(Yankees) to one of the WORST teams in the EPL(Spurs).

    One thumb down. It was a good read.

    Most of ur theories are based on Weather, and industries. Try investigating more...

    Like Liverpool is the most decorated team in England, and the most decorated team/city in the USA would be...? idk, look it up haha
  • The Gaffer · 1 year ago
    Tottenham has a rich footballing history as does the New York Yankees. Damir, where would you suggest Spurs and Liverpool reside in the US?

    Cheers,
    The Gaffer
  • Weston · 1 year ago
    To be fair, Spurs are the best team in the EPL right now based on recent form...
  • martin · 1 year ago
    To be fair, Spurs are the best team in the EPL... is you used idiotic power rankings.

    If run of form was used, You could certaily say, arsenal was the best team last year.
  • Weston · 1 year ago
    Well, no. Form = results = points, this has nothing to do with rankings, its a simple points system. Arsenal didnt have the most points, so they werent the best team.

    Anyways, you missed my point completely. Over the past 3 weeks or so, Spurs have had the best run of any team in the league - unbeaten in 6 matches, including TWO wins over Liverpool and managing to bang in 4 goals against Arsenal.
  • Stevie G · 1 year ago
    Make that 1-1/2 wins. That Carling Cup game was against a rehabbing Torres and a bunch of clowns, I was not impressed with that win. Also, by your theory of form, Liverpool dominated the Premier League game, just hit the post/crossbar too many times and could not put them away. They were the better team that day, or any day for that matter (unless the reserves are out there.)
  • DoublePivot · 1 year ago
    Liverpool and Boston, huh? Never been here have you.

    First, this is one of the lowest crime rate cities in the US. 2nd we're liberals, not authoritarian communists. Thirds, we win shit now, not 40 years ago. 40 years ago, we couldn't win at any sport in Boston. Fourth, all scousers talk like they have a dick in their mouth. I know one Bostoner that doesn't pronounce his R. Why? Universities. We have all of them. Liverpool has Heroine processing University and that's about it. Also we eat healthier because we have so many medical facilities and biotechs. Type 2 diabetes isn't a birth-right, as in Liverpool, it's a rare disease here. Finally unlike Liverpool, we're rich biatch! One of the wealthiest areas of the country.

    So Liverpool is more like some panhandle crap hole. And Boston would be more like a London club.

    Oh we haven't killed a bunch of Italians and blamed it on the Italians since Sacco and Vanzentti.

    Interesting article, but do you think I like my city being compared to the worst fans in the UK. :p

    PS. All in fun
  • The Gaffer · 1 year ago
    Nope, I've never been to Boston : )

    Cheers,
    The Gaffer
  • hand-j of god · 1 year ago
    Liverpool = Buffalo. If those fans are as bad as you says--watch HBO Real Sports special on the Bills fans. There may be worse...but not many. Western NY home of Kodak and Xerox, run down, outdated.
  • ... · 1 year ago
    Yeah, seriously, spread the wealth. Northeast, midwest, northeast, midwest, northeast, california, midwest, northeast....
  • KS · 1 year ago
    Liverpool = Philly maybe?
  • Phil McThomas · 1 year ago
    I definitely see Liverpool and Philadelphia being twinned.

    Sporting passion - check.

    Industrial city - check

    Prison cells in the stadium - check, check, check.

    As for the other half of Merseyside, I'd have to locate them in Oklabama or somewhere else where nobody can understand what they are saying.

    I can't believe you missed the clear and obvious parallels that you can draw between Middlesbrough and Hawaii. Peas in a pod.
  • Kevin · 1 year ago
    I get the Boston-Liverpool comment on a couple of levels. Both have crazy sports fans, historic stadiums with storied franchises that up until a few years ago hadn't been able to return to there glory days. The accent thing Im not so sure but the Boston accent still exists. One real reason they compare is the attitude...Liverpool fans are extremely proud of "their" team and proud to be from Liverpool, Boston is exactly the same way. The attitude is a pretty close match.

    Another reason they get compared is because Boston 20 years ago is like Liverpool. It was more run down, blue collar city with the areas surrounding boston being a little rough.

    Today, we have won a few more championships, and have gone crazy liberal so the comparison today may not be so accurate but I understand why its made.
  • Mark · 1 year ago
    I think Omaha, Nebraska would make a good Stoke, based on your criteria. Just as Nebraska is a fly-over state, Stoke is a team most others fly over.

    Unfortunately the only comparison I knew before even reading the article involved dear old Newcastle and the Cubbies.
  • ChrissMari · 1 year ago
    I guess Americans really eat this kind of stuff up...

    I'm glad other people besides TheGaffer write on this site.. because this is indicative of the crap that spews from his fingers
  • The Gaffer · 1 year ago
    Chris, I had to chuckle at that one. Feel free to let me know what article ideas you have for us to write about. And thanks for being honest.

    Cheers,
    The Gaffer
  • Marc · 1 year ago
    I guess I would be a West Ham fan.
  • Weston · 1 year ago
    Most of these seemed like a very loose like-for-like comparison, but I actually saw a lot of logic to the Pompey in San Diego idea.
  • equus · 1 year ago
    Sunderland? It would be in Pittsburgh. Coal mining, glass production, on the banks of multiple rivers, working class town.
  • timmyg · 1 year ago
    Pompey is not San Diego. Now, I've never been to either. But from what I hear Pompey is crap, and San Diego is beautiful.

    Pompey is more like Norfolk, VA. Big, BIG naval city that is not aesthetically pleasing. So there IS a southeastern city!

    I love the Blackburn/Manchester NH parallel. Although any old, decrepit factory town in the NE would work (Lowell, Springfield, Concord, Hartford, etc etc)

    And the Wigan--Baltimore parallel is off because Wigan doesn't seem to care about their club. Baltimore is HUGE on their sports, particularly football. You always know when the Ravens are playing here.

    Otherwise cool stuff as always, Gaffer.
  • Patrick · 1 year ago
    Chelsea - would be in the Chelsea section of NYC with Fulham just south in Tribeca
    Le Arse wouldn't really fit in Brooklyn. More of an Upper West Side team with Spuds upper East side. Brooklyn would be home to West Ham and Millwall and Charlton. With West Ham in Red Hook, by the docks. Millwall in Bay Ridge/Bensonhurst and Charlton in Williamsburg.

    Queens would be home to QPR Dag & Red and the O's

    The Bronx would be home to Barnet and Brentford.

    Crystal Palace would be in Baltimore since they already are there....


    and that's London, and a reminder they parts out side of the east end are still not Called cockney.
  • Rick · 1 year ago
    upper west side team? in chelsea? upper east side? sorry i mean manhattan is tiny. there's no way it could fit 3 stadia. i'd say arsenal and brooklyn is a good fit. and if you put spurs in staten island you have the proximity thing again too.
  • patrick · 1 year ago
    What's funny is that they built the 'New York' stadium in New Jersey... and NYC has a huge population of expats Europeans, south/ central American etc footie fans to support 3 MLS teams, but they keep the Red Bull in Jersey to draw soccer moms.

    I always thought that the Maspath US Soccer stadium was a joke in Queens/Brooklyn. and that a place like Red Hook would be a great place for a MLS team. But I hear they may start one on Randell's Island. Its a pity really.
  • 50 · 1 year ago
    liverpool-philly.
    for the good and bad reasons.....funny accents & not having won a title in waaay too long.
  • ks · 1 year ago
    in other news, the phillies just won the world series

    anyway, great site, i check it out often
  • andersen · 1 year ago
    I would have kept liverpool in boston, but put man united in new york to continue the rivalry of these teams. Man city in new york as well would have made a great "yankees - mets" dynamic. It would even have blackburn up the road!


    While I admire what you were trying to do with making New York into London, to have LA have a deep rivalry with boston is more than a stretch.
  • Nick · 1 year ago
    LA-Boston rivalry more than a strech..... WHAT!?!?!?! I guess the Celtics-Lakers is chopped liver compared to Celtics-Knicks.
  • 50 · 1 year ago
    ks- id dint even see that you had suggested liverpool-philly earlier.
    i guess im not the only one to see the resemblance.
  • RRMM · 1 year ago
    Chelsea could also do well in South Florida...that's where all of the American pensioners seem to drift off to!
  • Ryan · 1 year ago
    Liverpool = Bronx

    Defo don't match up with Boston, other than the port town part. Spurs/Yankees is a big mismatch.

    Liverpool have the most cups and the Yankees have the most titles.
  • kev mac · 1 year ago
    Hey
    I am from liverpool and i would never stoop to assume that all americans are as thick as pig sh*&. but obviously you are fascist and ignorant if you would like to meet some of the friendliest and most decent neighbourly and moral people on the planet visit my home town before you needlesly pull apart its residents!!!!!!
    PS
    we have two of the biggest universities in the country and I believe that crack cocaine was invented in your universities along with LSD, PCP and too many others to mention
  • SFGooner · 1 year ago
    Sorry, but you started off all wrong. Arsenal supporters are a more culturally diverse, sophisticated breed who appreciate their football played with style, pace, and panache, and because they are in North London, a vibrant part of the metropolis that includes up-and-coming urban areas alongside upscale shops and dining, and a vibrant nightlight/music scene...the only choice is San Francisco!
  • Ryan · 1 year ago
    Nice read. It's always a zero-sum game when trying to find the right fit, but you made some great comparisons.

    ESPN writer Bill Simmons wrote an article awhile back about choosing an EPL team to support and he compared many of the teams to cities and sports teams. Interestingly, he compared Liverpool to Boston as well:

    "On paper, this seemed like the most appealing team -- a perennial contender with a ton of history, great fans, snazzy uniforms, the best player in the league (midfielder Steven Gerrard, described by multiple readers as the "Big Papi of the EPL") and even their own show on channel 613 ("Liverpool Classics"), as well as an English city that everyone compares to Boston (port city, tons of Irish immigrants and blue-collar people, rivalry with London that mirrors Boston/New York, sports means a little TOO much, etc.). Reading the e-mails about Liverpool almost made me feel like I was reading about a Boston team, actually -- and that's even before finding out that Bob Kraft tried to buy an ownership stake last year. I liked them the most out of anyone.

    (Note: Continuing with the Red Sox parallel, they staged the most famous comeback in recent soccer history last year, rallying back from a 3-0 deficit in the second half to win the Champions League. It's hard to say whether this was more or less incredible than the Red Sox rallying back from three games to zero against the Yankees. And if you thought this was a thinly-veiled excuse to mention the 2004 ALCS again, well, you know me too well.)"

    http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page...
  • Jeffrey · 1 year ago
    Amazing. If the EPL was 'American' there doesn't end up being a team placed in Canada, something mirrored in ALL sports in the states, MLB, MLS, NHL, NBA, NFL (Bills in Toronto).

    If this placement was done in accordance with actual attributes, rather than lip-service to certain cities, and keeping other teams together just for 'contextual proximity', Newcastle, the coldest place in England, ends up in 'stereotypically' cold Canada.
  • The Gaffer · 1 year ago
    A fellow blogger did something I couldn't do, and has created a great map which shows all 20 Premier League teams dotted across the United States here: http://www.los-toros.com/2008/11/14/let-the-deb...

    Yes, there's a definite hotbed of teams in the northeastern United States, but it's the same way in the Premier League with many of the teams coming from London.

    Enjoy the map.

    Cheers,
    The Gaffer
  • The Gaffer · 1 year ago
    Now Sports Illustrated is catching on to the Premier League in America theme and have created a Google Map as well as a healthy debate among its readers. Check it out at http://www.fannation.com/si_blogs/for_the_recor...

    Cheers,
    The Gaffer
  • andrew Stobie · 1 year ago
    I think liverpool as philly and manchester united as pittsburgh.

    or

    United as Seattle?

    Seattle is rainy and has a strong music scene, much like manchester.
  • James Harris · 1 year ago
    Personally I appreciate the call-out to the northwest but I've been to Manchester and I live just outside of Seattle. From downtwon Seattle you can View snow-capped mountains across the Pugent Sound to the west, Mount Ranier to the South, and the Cascades to the east. Not to mention more rivers, forests, and lakes than you can count and it hardly ever rains in the summer. Manchester...not quite so much maybe, but United have 17 titles, and Seattle...well never mind! Seattle sports right now is comparable to the Championship at best.
  • Live4City · 1 year ago
    I'd put Liverpool in another city associated with passionate fans and the color red: St. Louis. It's a major city in the history of American soccer and known for its diehard fans. The Cards have won the National League more than any other team; LFC has the most trophies in England. Carlsberg - Budweiser.
  • Marc · 1 year ago
    I agree with the Portsmouth -> Norfolk, VA idea. Portsmouth and San Diego? Those two cities couldn't be any further apart if you tried.
  • united28 · 1 year ago
    United would be more like.....hmmmm.....I don't know...Boston-size city....recovered industrial city....unique accents. You wanna say Boston...as much as I hate that idea...or perhaps Pittsburgh (although the Sheffield clubs would go there).

    Putting Everton and Liverpool in Boston...I think those clubs are more suited to Philly. Angst-laden, blue collar, in-the-nick-out-of-the-nick kinda fans.

    The Pompey are a port city..a Navy city...San Diego isn't a bad spot...neither is Virginia or Tampa or Miami.

    Hull are Baltimore...port city in the middle of nothing really.

    Man City are the Mets or the Islanders...out on Long Island.

    I'd put Chelsea in LA...they're like the Dodgers and Spurs in the Bronx....maybe....West Ham the Cockney equivalent...the hardcore Irish and Italian New Yorkers with heavy borough accents...so Queens or Brooklyn.

    Fulham...there's really no place for them in NY....I would say they would be a NJ team...like the Devils...with next to no following.